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As soon as I stepped into my first class, I wished I'd stayed home from school. It's not like I would've had to fake being sick. My stomach twisted uncomfortably as I listened to everybody else comparing SAT scores
No Comparison
My friend Mindy was way too bubbly.
"So? What did you get on the SAT?" she asked in a high-pitched squeal.
Before I had a chance to dodge the question, she continued her annoying chatter.
"I did awesome!" Mindy said as she blurted out her score. "How did you do?"
"Not that well," I said softly as I glanced up at the clock, hoping the teacher would get the class started.
"Oh, whatever. I know you did great," she insisted.
Mindy's broad, cherry smile only made me feel worse.
I remained quiet and simply plopped down in my chair and unzipped my book bag. I desperately wanted to avoid anymore SAT chatter, but I couldn't escape it--not in that class or anywhere else. The buzz was the same all over school--in the hallways, the cafeteria, the parking lot. It seemed everyone was comparing scores. I was relieved when the day finally ended and I could go home and get away from it all.
"So? What did you get on the SAT?" she asked in a high-pitched squeal.
Before I had a chance to dodge the question, she continued her annoying chatter.
"I did awesome!" Mindy said as she blurted out her score. "How did you do?"
"Not that well," I said softly as I glanced up at the clock, hoping the teacher would get the class started.
"Oh, whatever. I know you did great," she insisted.
Mindy's broad, cherry smile only made me feel worse.
I remained quiet and simply plopped down in my chair and unzipped my book bag. I desperately wanted to avoid anymore SAT chatter, but I couldn't escape it--not in that class or anywhere else. The buzz was the same all over school--in the hallways, the cafeteria, the parking lot. It seemed everyone was comparing scores. I was relieved when the day finally ended and I could go home and get away from it all.
Too Much Pressure
When Mom walked through the door and found me scarfing ice cream straight from the carton, she knew something was wrong. I told her all about my gloating classmates.
"So what if some of them did better?" Mom asked.
"Your score is still really good."
"Not good enough," I sighed as I pitifully plunged my spoon back into the Rocky Road. "This test totally determines my future!"
"Don't put so much pressure on yourself, honey,"
Mom said. "I know how hard you worked to prepare, and that's all you can do."
"No!" I defiantly shook my head. "I'm gonna retake the test again. I'll improve my score even if it kills me!"
"I don't like the pressure you're putting on yourself,"
Mom repeated. "Promise me that you'll let God help you next time around."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"I want you to do your best, then leave it in God's hands."
Easy for you to say, I thought, irritated by how easy she made it sound. She'd obviously forgotten what it was like to be in my shoes.
"I wanna be a veterinarian, and to do that I need the right test scores to get into college," I insisted. "It's not like praying will get me a degree."
Mom sat in silent thought for a moment, then said gently, "If you pray for the strength and courage to trust in God, and if you truly believe things will ultimately work out the way the Lord intends, you'll feel a lot better."
"So what if some of them did better?" Mom asked.
"Your score is still really good."
"Not good enough," I sighed as I pitifully plunged my spoon back into the Rocky Road. "This test totally determines my future!"
"Don't put so much pressure on yourself, honey,"
Mom said. "I know how hard you worked to prepare, and that's all you can do."
"No!" I defiantly shook my head. "I'm gonna retake the test again. I'll improve my score even if it kills me!"
"I don't like the pressure you're putting on yourself,"
Mom repeated. "Promise me that you'll let God help you next time around."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"I want you to do your best, then leave it in God's hands."
Easy for you to say, I thought, irritated by how easy she made it sound. She'd obviously forgotten what it was like to be in my shoes.
"I wanna be a veterinarian, and to do that I need the right test scores to get into college," I insisted. "It's not like praying will get me a degree."
Mom sat in silent thought for a moment, then said gently, "If you pray for the strength and courage to trust in God, and if you truly believe things will ultimately work out the way the Lord intends, you'll feel a lot better."
Sense of Peace
While I was far from convinced, I still tried to follow Mom's adviced. In the weeks leading up to the exam, I talked to my friends in youth group about my testing anxieties. And each evening before bed, I read Scriptures and said a prayer that went something like this:
"If it's your will, Lord, please give me the knowledge and strength to do well on this test. But also help me remember that my life will always be OK as long as I trust and love you with all my heart and soul."
"If it's your will, Lord, please give me the knowledge and strength to do well on this test. But also help me remember that my life will always be OK as long as I trust and love you with all my heart and soul."
"If you pray for the strength and courage to trust in God, you'll feel a lot better."
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Finally, the big day arrived. Driving to the testing site, I remembered one of the verses I'd studied: "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of Holy Spirit" (Romans 15:13). As I took a deep breath and said a little prayer, a sense of peace washed over me.
When I entered the testing room, I felt different than when I took the exam the first time. This time my head didn't pound, my stomach didn't churn, and my hands didn't tremble in fear. In fact, I felt amazingly calm knowing that regardless of how I scored on this test--or any test, for that matter--my future was in the hands of a loving God I could really trust.
-by Meryl HerranWhen I entered the testing room, I felt different than when I took the exam the first time. This time my head didn't pound, my stomach didn't churn, and my hands didn't tremble in fear. In fact, I felt amazingly calm knowing that regardless of how I scored on this test--or any test, for that matter--my future was in the hands of a loving God I could really trust.
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